Just Because I Can Lift Heavey Things, Does Not Mean I Want to Help You Move

The other night I decided to get to bed at an early hour.*  As I was setteling in for the evening I recieved a phone call at 12:15, in the morning.  I picked up the phone because I knew the number, and was greeted with a small but shy female voice on the other end.  After the exchanging of pleasentries, my mind began to wander with what this girl wanted from me at such an hour.**  As it turns out she was calling to see if I would help her move.***  At the time I was feeling in a sleepy**** mood, so I agreed to helping out.  My stipulation though was that I recieved my normal “helping a friend move” payment.*****

Before I go any further I would like to point out that your friendly neighborhood Cobbgoblin is always willing to help a friend move ( providing payment is included).  I would however like to stress the word friend in that sentence.  Here’s a little back story on the girl that called me.

– For about two to three weeks of knowing me, she did not take notice of me or make an attempt to talk me.

– When I finally decided to style up my hair, only then did she decide that having my number was the thing to do.******

– Seriously 12:15 AM on a Sunday for me to help her on a Tuesday.  Really a better time could have been found.

– She got all awkward about giving me food for helping her move.  Really, you’re gonna have someone move your stuff and not feed them or pay them.  Doesn’t work like that.

So the day of the move comes along and around 8:30 in the morning I come to the realization that I do not want to help this girl move.  So after much debate, I decided to text her at 9:30 and tell her that I got called into work.******* She proceeds to get all up in my face******** about how I should have put her as my #1 priority.

Either way, I lied, and I don’t feel bad about it.  Call me a bad person I dare you*********

I’ve decided no longer to call it a moment of zen, that’s Jon Stewart’s bit, not mine.  But I’ll save that for a different time.

Cobbgoblin out.


* Early for The Cobbgoblin is anytime before midnight

** You can stop stalking me now ladies, I’m taken.  And yes you in the tree its really quite flattering, but its all too much.

*** Not dancing, but if anyone wants, I can help with that too.

**** I work for Disney, who DIDN’T see this coming?

***** Who thought this link was going to take you to a picture of a hooker?  I know at least one of you did.

****** When we all know that everyone wants a piece of the Cobbgoblin.

******* Totally didn’t get called into work.

********By my face, I mean my iPhone.  Which, when you think about it, is really just the same thing.

********* Double dog dare you.

2 Responses to “Just Because I Can Lift Heavey Things, Does Not Mean I Want to Help You Move”

  1. slugger Says:

    i feel like i should make some sort of joke about the title of this post… ya know, since i’ve participated in the heavy lifting quite a few times 😉

  2. Neo-Rev Says:

    So this girl didn’t want to know you until your hair got all styled up? I don’t want to call her shallow* but I have to wonder. Also she doesn’t even want to pay you for helping her out? How well do you even know this girl**? Even though I don’t support the lying***, I can understand why. This girl probably has a history of using guys and needs to learn**** a lesson.

    *I totally do

    ** Is she actually a hooker?

    ***Although I’d probably do the same thing

    **** Be knocked over the head